school

Slogging through Homework

homework incentive — After each subject, add an extra topping to the pizza.

You eat an elephant a bite at a time. A journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. These proverbs make big jobs sound easier, but in reality, they don’t make much difference to our kids who are slogging through a night of math and science and social studies and that stupid book called Charlotte’s Web that the teacher made them read. It’s just overwhelming for our kids, truly.

But what if you gave an incentive for each bite of the elephant – a small ‘something to look forward to’ for each milestone? What about these…

1. After every five math problems, give a sticker.
2. After each paragraph written, allow a ten minute exercise session.
3. When each subject is completed, a different ingredient is put on the pizza.

For most of our kids, you’ll need to change this up often.

What are good milestones for your child? What incentives have worked for you?

Get practical steps on making it through a night of homework in our book, “Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare“. Read more about it, here!

Book Review: Getting Schooled: 102 Practical Tips for Parents, Teachers, Counselors and Students about Living and Learning with ADHD

getting schooled So often books about ADHD are just full of fluffy, pie in the sky suggestions that remind me of an episode of The Brady Bunch – all conflicts can be easily solved in 30 minutes. Parents and educators aren’t given any practical solutions.

The book Getting Schooled: 102 Practical Tips for Parents, Teachers, Counselors and Students about Living and Learning with ADHD, isn’t like that. Written by Margrit Crane, it’s a down to earth, you can do this today sort of guide that is easy to read and absolutely do-able.

Quotes from the book:

• Parent’s section: “In this metaphor, the child is the CEO, and you are the executive assistant.” (I’d love to think the author had read my Sabrina analogy!)

• Teacher’s section: “self-advocating – a buzz word in education today – is very difficult for people with ADHD.”

• Counselor’s section: “Long projects need to be broken down…teachers need to be in charge of this.”

• Student’s section: “Your parents or teachers may tell you that you spend too much time texting. Do you know how you can tell if this is true? Three ways…”

Note that there is a section for counselors, the ones who help write the 504/IEP’s. That’s unusual, and it’s particularly helpful. One piece of advice to counselors is that they make sure they pick the brains of teachers and parents of ADHD children.

Getting Schooled is available in hard copy and for Kindle at Amazon. As of the publication, it’s available for free through Amazon Unlimited. I highly recommend that you grab your copy today!

Getting Schooled: 102 Practical Tips for Parents, Teachers, Counselors and Students about Living and Learning with ADHD

Be SuperParent for Your Child’s School

Sometimes parents can champion a cause that helps the school and earns them superhero status. ..using parental muscle. Step into the phone booth, and I’ll tell you the story.

At the beginning of the school year, one of our readers was concerned that the school wasn’t providing Occupational Therapy for her daughter as was written into her IEP. They asked the teacher about it, and discovered the problem – the district hadn’t hired a OT for the school. The school was every bit as concerned about it as the parents.

Tugging on Superman’s Cape. So at the fall IEP meeting, the parents used their legal leverage as parents to bring pressure onto the representatives from the central office to make the hire. “You do realize that this is in the IEP. It is legally mandated that Sally have this therapy. It’s not an option.”

Up, Up, and Away! Although no threat was made, the phrase ‘legally mandated’ meant that the battle was already won. The school district knew that it truly had no choice but to provide the OT that was needed. And…the Occupational Therapist was indeed hired – a huge win for all the children involved as well as the school.

My Hero. An additional win was that the parent/school alliance was strengthened. The parents did the nagging; they were the bad guy. This was one less thing that the school had to fight central office for. They were grateful that someone else fought this battle for them.

As the parents and the school worked as a team – as allies – to get what was needed for the child, it set the stage for better in-school teamwork later on.

Makes for a good movie plot, too – don’t you think?

Spelling Success for Back to School

Back to school. Whether you approach this time of year with anticipation or dread, it’s about to happen. New teachers and classes, different rules and expectations, leave children and parents overwhelmed with excitement and anxiety. Below are six ways to send your child back to school with success.

Supplies – Most schools provide a list of essentials for each child to bring on the first day of class. Make sure your child has exactly what is requested, and save enough cash for those supply needs that crop up the first week of class. Stock up on all types of paper, writing utensils, art supplies, notebooks and folders during the back to school sales. Gather an assortment of calculators and reference books. There is nothing that gives confidence like the satisfaction of having just the right tool for the job.

Communication – While summer is still in session, visit the school and meet the secretary and principal. Limit yourself to brief introductions, but offer your support to help make a great school year. Leave your name, telephone and email so the school can contact you if they need help. The first week of school, write the teacher a letter introducing your child, and briefly listing strengths and weaknesses. Share important information such as family situation and medical needs. Finally, tell the teacher you would like to meet during the second month of school to strategize ways to work together for your child’s education.

Habits – Children usually crave routine. A couple of weeks before school, transition children to the schedule they will follow once the year begins. Send them to bed and have them get up earlier. Adjust mealtimes. Once school is in session, quickly establish routines for homework and chore. Make it a habit to prepare the next day’s clothes, lunches, and school gear each evening.

Orientation – Familiarize your child with the all the places she will be during the school day. Follow the bus or car pool route. Arrange a visit to the school before it begins. Practice the route into the building. Find the bathrooms, the library, and the lunchroom. If your child is in middle or high school, let them walk their schedule until they feel comfortable. See if there are volunteer opportunities that will help your teen to feel more at home in the maze of corridors that line most campuses.

Organization – Buy into the adage “a place for everything, and everything in its place”. A two drawer file cabinet works well as a center to organize a child’s school/home communication, backpacks, shoes, and homework. Each afternoon, school gear and shoes go in. Before bed, add clothes, bookbag, notes and homework for the next day. In the morning, everything is in one spot, and makes it easier for the child to get dressed and ready. (Our favorite way to organize is our own “PAC-kit” student planner!)

Love – Insensitive classmates, missed buses, forgotten homework and misunderstood math can make school a traumatic place. Shield your child by expressing your love over and over again. Tell her you love her. Give him a hug. Hide a love note or symbol in an Algebra book. Offer your time, your understanding, and your prayers. With the teacher as your partner, wrapping your children in love is the best way to spell a successful beginning to the school year.

Be Organized from Day One of School with the PAC-kit Planner!

Mrs. Anderson, Please Like My Child

This letter wasn’t written to a specific teacher, or about a particular child, but came from a hope that my sons would be liked by their new teachers. Since school is starting, I thought you might enjoy it – and might just want to pass it along.

Dear Mrs. Anderson,

My child Ben has been assigned to your class this year, and I’m glad. People have often told me what a wonderful teacher you are. You have had a lot of great things said about you.

You’ve probably heard about my Ben, too, but I’m afraid the things said about him aren’t always good. The truth is, Ben can be difficult. He’s loud, he makes others uncomfortable, he’s different. But I’m his mother, and I love him.

Of course I’m supposed to love him because I am his mother. But I must tell you that underneath the ball of energy that brings havoc to a room, you’ll find a beautiful child that is worth getting to know. He’s loving, he’s tender, he notices beauty. He’s sensitive when others are hurting, he’s offended when he observes injustice. Believe me, I’ve seen Ben at his worst, but I’ve seen him at his best, too. And he is a wonderful little soul.

So that is why I’m asking you, from the bottom of my heart, please like my child. Because if you like him, you’ll recognize that his impulsiveness is raw eagerness. You’ll see his fidgeting as energy waiting to be channeled. You’ll find ways for him to use his daydreams creatively.

If you like my child, you’ll feel the sting when he is ridiculed by his peers. You’ll shield him from judgmental adults. You’ll make his wrong answers sound right to his classmates. His efforts will be evident to you, and his successes will feel like your own. And when he exasperates you beyond your very last nerve, he’ll feel your love underneath your irritation.

There is an old Arabic proverb that says, “A monkey is but a gazelle in the eyes of his mother.” I know that my son is not perfect, but I’d like for you to try to see past his problems to the gazelle of his soul.

And again, I ask you from my mother’s heart: Please, like my child. Because if you like him, others will. And if you like him, maybe he’ll never learn not to like himself.

Sincerely,

Ben’s Mom

Redshirting* and Recent Research

If you’re looking for another reason to consider redshirting, you may want to consider findings published online recently in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics. According to research done over several years on elementary to middle school aged children in Iceland, younger children may not perform as well academically in mathematics and language arts as their slightly older peers.

Additionally, children who are in the youngest third of the class are 50% more likely to be prescribed stimulants to manage symptoms of ADHD between the ages of 7 and 14.

Let me be quick to say that we don’t wish to vilify the use of medications to help with ADHD. To quote Dr. Seuss:

Not one of them
Is like another.
Don’t ask us why.
Go ask your mother.

*Academic Redshirting: holding a child back from starting kindergarten to allow for a little more maturity; often used when a child will be one of the younger ones in the classroom.