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Book Review: Getting Schooled: 102 Practical Tips for Parents, Teachers, Counselors and Students about Living and Learning with ADHD

getting schooled So often books about ADHD are just full of fluffy, pie in the sky suggestions that remind me of an episode of The Brady Bunch – all conflicts can be easily solved in 30 minutes. Parents and educators aren’t given any practical solutions.

The book Getting Schooled: 102 Practical Tips for Parents, Teachers, Counselors and Students about Living and Learning with ADHD, isn’t like that. Written by Margrit Crane, it’s a down to earth, you can do this today sort of guide that is easy to read and absolutely do-able.

Quotes from the book:

• Parent’s section: “In this metaphor, the child is the CEO, and you are the executive assistant.” (I’d love to think the author had read my Sabrina analogy!)

• Teacher’s section: “self-advocating – a buzz word in education today – is very difficult for people with ADHD.”

• Counselor’s section: “Long projects need to be broken down…teachers need to be in charge of this.”

• Student’s section: “Your parents or teachers may tell you that you spend too much time texting. Do you know how you can tell if this is true? Three ways…”

Note that there is a section for counselors, the ones who help write the 504/IEP’s. That’s unusual, and it’s particularly helpful. One piece of advice to counselors is that they make sure they pick the brains of teachers and parents of ADHD children.

Getting Schooled is available in hard copy and for Kindle at Amazon. As of the publication, it’s available for free through Amazon Unlimited. I highly recommend that you grab your copy today!

Getting Schooled: 102 Practical Tips for Parents, Teachers, Counselors and Students about Living and Learning with ADHD

What To Do About Too Much Homework

I don’t have to tell you that your kids have too much homework. It’s a rare parent that thinks that the nightly chore of reviewing and previewing and rehashing the day’s work is as necessary as the government seems to think it is. Throw a dose of ADHD into homework time, and…well, it can be a nightmare.

My kids and I both loved school. We generally had great teachers, good instruction, and lots of fun. But I still dreaded the start of the year because of the homework. (Okay, and because we couldn’t sleep late, but don’t tell.)

There is supposed to be a homework standard. Children should only take 10 minutes of homework per night per grade level. Honestly, that seems reasonable. But we all know that for an ADHD child, that 10 minutes is often tripled.

And a recent study by The American Journal of Family Therapy found that on average, grade school children have more homework than is recommended by the NEA. A lot of the homework load seems to be in preparation for the constant barrage of testing.

So what’s a parent to do? Well my gut is to say that we will all rise up together and refuse to stress our families out for something of dubious efficacy. But I never was willing to change the world at the expense of my child.

There are a few steps that you can take, however.

1. Communicate. I know that goes without saying, but if homework is overwhelming, let the teacher know where the problems lie.

2. Reduce. Ask for a accommodations and modifications in your next 504 or IEP meeting. This could be as simple as saying that your child only has to work for a certain amount of time. It could mean that your child only has to do every other math problem, or that they could dictate their spelling sentences to you and let you write them.

3. Equip. Make sure that you have everything you need for homework. There is nothing so frustrating as getting all settled in to do science homework, and discovering that you don’t have the required ruler, or finding out that the math book is at school. Make a list now of all the school supplies you think you might need, and gather them while they are on sale! (Order from Amazon.com, and we get a small commission from your purchase.)

4. Connect. If your school communicates homework electronically, then log on! Ask if your child can take a picture of the homework board. If your child loses their homework, see if the teacher will allow you to email a scan of the night’s work. Just get really familiar with the ways that the internet and other electronic means can help you. If you use a paper calendar, take a look at our PAC-kit, that has helped so many children get organized.

5. Relax. I know. Homework doesn’t lend itself to relaxation. But remember your Lamaze breathing and breathe through the stress. Make a resolution now to make this a better year in those all important hours that children are at home with you.

In fact – that’s your homework assignment.

PS If you’ve not read our Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare…now’s a great time. AND you’ll get extra credit on your assignment.

*See Homework and Family Stress: With Consideration of Parents’ Self Confidence, Educational Level, and Cultural Background by Pressman, Sugarman, Neman, Desjarlais, Owens, and Schettini-Evans.

SAT Prep for an ADHD Student

Just when you thought high school was falling into a predictable pattern, you discover it’s time for your student to take the SAT – the Scholastic Aptitude Test. SAT Prep for your ADHD student sounds like a nightmare, but you can help him prepare so he’ll know what to expect. She may not thank you today, but one day you’ll hear about how grateful she is for your support. Start your best strategic plan early and be sure to:

1. Secure test accommodations. The College Board can grant your student special testing accommodations like extra time or more breaks, but you must apply for these, so it’s very important to plan ahead. Your child’s application should be received at least 7 weeks prior to the test date. Usually your child’s school should submit the documentation to SSD* online, but you must initiate it. There’s also a procedure for parents to go directly to the College Board. Keep in mind that neither 504 nor IEP modifications are automatically carried over for this standardized test. Click here for more information and applications.

2. Test often. Most students (ADHD or not) will take the SAT more than once to improve scores and combine their best scores from various dates. Our middle daughter took it so many times that test proctors started to recognize her and chat with her as she stood in the registration lines. With Lesley, we missed the first accommodation deadline, but she took the test anyway to give us a baseline without any accommodations. Practice never hurt anyone.

3. Take advantage of free resources. The most obvious one is what you’ll find on The College Board Website. Students can choose practice tests, practice questions or answer the Question of the Day to break down SAT preparation into bite-sized chunks. You can also get more in depth help for vocabulary. One of our favorite vocabulary websites is called Word Nerd. Turns the drudgery into fun!

4. Read that book. The College Board makers publishes an updated SAT prep guide every year to help students prepare for the test. You’ll find other resources for practice tests here. If you don’t want to spend for a brand new book, you could try looking on Amazon or at a used bookstore or charity shop to see if you could pick up last year’s edition.

5. Sign up for an on-line course. The College Board offers an official on-line course your student may be interested in. Or visit Jennifer Cohen of SAT Prep for ADHD.

A student diagnosed with ADHD-inattentive may often experience test anxiety, but test preparation can help her overcome certain fears. Remind him that an application to college is more than an SAT score. Read how one of our readers helped her child create a very strong resume and college application.

PS Speaking of Jennifer, she offers SAT classes, counseling, consulting and coaching, especially for the ADHD student. Visit her at SAT Prep for ADHD, and tell her we sent you!

What To Do When They Just Can’t Sit Still

You know the type. You can easily recognize her in a classroom setting. The teacher’s talking, and he’s in constant motion. She’s drumming her fingers on the desk. His leg is bouncing up and down with a rhythm to match the tune in his head….except he doesn’t recognize that he’s moving.

The good news is that often, the wiggling and jiggling is an attempt to pay attention. The bad news is that the constant movement looks like distracting and annoying hyperactivity. Aside from starting gym class a little early, what can you do? Take a look at the following tried and true tips to help the ones you love who don’t love sitting:

1. Make a standing commitment. This idea worked very well for Kayla’s youngest son. When he had a task to do, he would stand at the table or desk to get things done. When he was sitting, he was distracted by all sorts of things, but standing up helped him focus on the task at hand. You may be interested in a standing desk. Or simply ask your favorite student to try standing up to work for a change; you may find it’s a simple idea that works.

standing desk recommended for adhd child — Standing Desk

2. Get on the ball. Three years ago, Robi Giuliano first encouraged her fourth grade students in West Chester, PA to take a seat on a yoga ball instead of a traditional desk chai. Guiliano never looked back: students who sit on inflatable bouncers can improve their focus while increasing their balance and core strength. “I have more attentive children, she said. “I’m able to get a lot done with them because they’re sitting on yoga balls.” Once they start sitting on a stability ball, they don’t usually want to go back to a stationary chair. The consequence of losing the privilege keeps students from “accidentally” rolling off the ball or engaging in other distracting horseplay. Sounds like a win-win situation to us! Get your balance chair for your ADHD child here.

balance ball chair for adhd — Ball Chair

3. Sit pretty anywhere. What if your fitness ball doesn’t reach your desk? Maybe your ball isn’t that tall. Or maybe you’d rather try a Fitball Seating Disk. Here’s a product that helps a student keep good posture and improve core strength, and it’s smaller and easier to move around. They can be used inconspicuously in a classroom, and are often part of an IEP or 504. Take a look at the seating discs here. Note that there are different shapes and sizes, and some come with sensory textures.

4. Change it up! My daughter’s choir teacher executes this idea brilliantly. She throws in an exercise when certain students’ attention started to wane. She might give them permission to stand up and stretch, or to turn around and speak 10 words to one person. An elementary school teacher might encourage kids to “shake their sillies out.” Sometimes a simple exercise can change things up enough to help a student regain focus.

5. Give a second choice. For some children, simply offering a different place to sit helps them focus again. Maybe one area is where a child listens better and another area is where she works better. Viva la difference!

How about you? Are you still sitting in the same place? Test some of these ideas for yourself and see if your focus is a little sharper. In the comments below, share your hear your own tried and true tips for jumpstarting your favorite student’s focus.

Off to College! Another Success Story from a Reader

As always, we’re grateful to parents and students who share their stories and hints. And – as always – we’re protecting the privacy of this mom and daughter by changing names.

Our ADHD-I student is heading off to college in August. We attended orientation and each of us was overwhelmed by all the information coming at us. At the end of the first day, I immediately began organizing all the paperwork in a 5” 3-ring binder! I made exhaustive notes on what to accomplish the next day. Armed with my notebook and ready to go by 6:00 am the next day, my husband and I met up with Selina at lunch. (Students were housed on campus in the dorms!) Selina took one look at my binder and said, “You two need to go on your own now….you are getting in my way!”

It was a bitter-sweet moment…..had my daughter just been disrespectful to me?…..but didn’t she just show her new-found independence?! I chose to focus on the latter and did as she wished. I stopped carrying around the huge “manual” I was building and relaxed. I actually enjoyed the rest of the sessions. I found that I was listening to the fun stories the seasoned college students were sharing with all the parents more than I was trying to write down all the possible mishaps we needed to help Selina avoid when she was away from home. The words “you are getting in my way” are the words I have been wanting to hear for a long time!

Tips We’ve Learned For ADHD kids going away to college:

Bring home two identical maps of the college campus. If your child is attending a large university, navigating the campus can be daunting. Selina struggled with finding her way around, so she made sure to always be with someone who knew where they were going. When we got home from orientation, I glued the campus map to a heavy piece of cardboard. Then I cut it up into puzzle pieces. Our daughter is an avid puzzler, so this new campus puzzle is the perfect way for her to become familiar with the campus before she has to be on it!
If you would like your child to have accommodations in college similar to a 504 or IEP, the college may require a full psychological evaluation (testing) done within the three years prior to entering college. I didn’t know this until we attended orientation this summer. Now we are scrambling to find an appointment soon enough to get all the results in and sent to the college before the first week of school.
When we were talking with the college’s Student Services personnel, they suggested our student use a Smart Pen. I was not familiar with these, but there are many versions on the market. Basically, it is a pen that records while you are writing. If you missed something important because you were still writing down the last thought, you can relax because you have it recorded. Later, you don’t have to listen to the entire lecture again to catch what you missed but rather you point your pen to the section in your notebook where you missed the info and the pen will start the playback from that point. You do need special paper for the pen and there is a format to taking down the notes. My daughter wants to use this tool.
We just got home from shopping for dorm room items. The most difficult item to find was bedding. The patterns on the comforters/duvets were all too loud or busy (which would surely over-stimulate my daughter). We ended up buying a quilted blanket that will do the job just as well but not be so annoying!
We also made sure we got clear storage bins and other see-thru items to make her life easier.

Before and During: How Success Stories Get Started

As the parent of an ADHD-inattentive child, you may sometimes feel overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted. I know there were times at our house when life seemed to be one steady stream of prepping for the next test and whacking away at assignments in bite-sized chunks.

Flash cards, IEP meetings, and peppermint tea – we were always thinking of the next strategy for ADHD.

While I don’t mean to imply that we’ve arrived and have it all figured out, I do want to encourage you. Success may start slowly, but it always starts.

Don’t forget to notice triumphs no matter how small.

In retrospect, I realize we’ve had a year of successes for Lesley. For her sophomore year, she started out using Concerta but had our psychiatrist’s green light to self-regulate a bit and use as needed. She never stated something like “I’m giving it up this year.” It was more of a gradual process, reassessed as she went through the year.

She continued to use strategies that worked well for her. For instance, she studied in the library instead of her room. She talked to her teachers about having a little extra time on tests. When she needed extra help, she was more comfortable talking to the teacher after class and asking questions.

Because we live in the Middle East, Lesley’s choice for high school included boarding school, and she chose a school in Europe. Before I moved here, I couldn’t imagine sending any 15-year-old away to boarding school. Everyone knew that only evil stepmothers in Disney movies would do such a thing.

Lesley was keen to go away to high school despite the fact that she’s always been a homebody. She’s never been wild about sleepovers, and until now, she’s never even participated in a sleep-away summer camp. How could a kid like this succeed in boarding school?

In the early days, I wondered what we were thinking by following this plan. While September was rocky with tears and homesickness, Lesley persevered. October looked better. By the time we came to visit on parents’ weekend, we realized that she was studying hard, making friends and enjoying adventures like zip-lining and rock climbing on the weekend. In November, she toured Venice, Italy as part of her curriculum. (I know. Grueling course of study, huh?!)

We came together as a family in December for winter holidays, and she was ready to return to school in January. She auditioned for the spring musical and landed a solo. She was stressed out with finals because she’d never had comprehensive final exams before, but in the end, she was fine.

Do we have it all figured out? No! She’s home with us now, and if you saw her room right now you would ROTFL or something like that. She’s trying to overcome nail biting – and she should probably get started on summer reading since June is over. But we’ve had a year of successive successes – and I wanted to document them here.

We’ve come a long way from the 15-year-old who got cold feet in September and begged us to take her back to the Middle East. I consider each step Lesley took this year an example of “God sightings.” For each one of them, I’m very, very grateful.

What are your successes? Small or great. Share them below.

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