homework

Slogging through Homework

You eat an elephant a bite at a time. A journey of 1000 miles begins with one step. These proverbs make big jobs sound easier, but in reality, they don’t make much difference to our kids who are slogging through a night of math and science and social studies and that stupid book called Charlotte’s Web that the teacher made them read. It’s just overwhelming for our kids, truly.

But what if you gave an incentive for each bite of the elephant – a small ‘something to look forward to’ for each milestone? What about these…

1. After every five math problems, give a sticker.
2. After each paragraph written, allow a ten minute exercise session.
3. When each subject is completed, a different ingredient is put on the pizza.

For most of our kids, you’ll need to change this up often.

What are good milestones for your child? What incentives have worked for you?

Get practical steps on making it through a night of homework in our book, “Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare“. Read more about it, here!

Notebook Paper for Poor Handwriting

I was looking for color coded notebook paper that would be good for labeling papers, and found this paper, and I love it! Abilitations is great paper for our kids who have a hard time writing. The line guides them to form their letters more precisely. The colored areas keep them from having to think about how low that loop in the letter ‘g’ needs to go, so they can focus on formation. They remind me of the ‘red line, red line, blue line’ paper that we used when I was in grade school.

There are two types of paper – intermediate and beginner – with different sizes of lines. The packs come with 100 sheets. You can also buy notebooks, journal paper, handwriting practice sheets, and letter tracing pages.

The paper is a bit pricey, and I still like using graph paper for any kind of math. But I can totally see using this paper for lots and lots of things!

What To Do About Too Much Homework

I don’t have to tell you that your kids have too much homework. It’s a rare parent that thinks that the nightly chore of reviewing and previewing and rehashing the day’s work is as necessary as the government seems to think it is. Throw a dose of ADHD into homework time, and…well, it can be a nightmare.

My kids and I both loved school. We generally had great teachers, good instruction, and lots of fun. But I still dreaded the start of the year because of the homework. (Okay, and because we couldn’t sleep late, but don’t tell.)

There is supposed to be a homework standard. Children should only take 10 minutes of homework per night per grade level. Honestly, that seems reasonable. But we all know that for an ADHD child, that 10 minutes is often tripled.

And a recent study by The American Journal of Family Therapy found that on average, grade school children have more homework than is recommended by the NEA. A lot of the homework load seems to be in preparation for the constant barrage of testing.

So what’s a parent to do? Well my gut is to say that we will all rise up together and refuse to stress our families out for something of dubious efficacy. But I never was willing to change the world at the expense of my child.

There are a few steps that you can take, however.

1. Communicate. I know that goes without saying, but if homework is overwhelming, let the teacher know where the problems lie.

2. Reduce. Ask for a accommodations and modifications in your next 504 or IEP meeting. This could be as simple as saying that your child only has to work for a certain amount of time. It could mean that your child only has to do every other math problem, or that they could dictate their spelling sentences to you and let you write them.

3. Equip. Make sure that you have everything you need for homework. There is nothing so frustrating as getting all settled in to do science homework, and discovering that you don’t have the required ruler, or finding out that the math book is at school. Make a list now of all the school supplies you think you might need, and gather them while they are on sale! (Order from Amazon.com, and we get a small commission from your purchase.)

4. Connect. If your school communicates homework electronically, then log on! Ask if your child can take a picture of the homework board. If your child loses their homework, see if the teacher will allow you to email a scan of the night’s work. Just get really familiar with the ways that the internet and other electronic means can help you. If you use a paper calendar, take a look at our PAC-kit, that has helped so many children get organized.

5. Relax. I know. Homework doesn’t lend itself to relaxation. But remember your Lamaze breathing and breathe through the stress. Make a resolution now to make this a better year in those all important hours that children are at home with you.

In fact – that’s your homework assignment.

PS If you’ve not read our Waking Up from the Homework Nightmare…now’s a great time. AND you’ll get extra credit on your assignment.

*See Homework and Family Stress: With Consideration of Parents’ Self Confidence, Educational Level, and Cultural Background by Pressman, Sugarman, Neman, Desjarlais, Owens, and Schettini-Evans.

ADHD Supplies – Things that Aren’t On the List from the School

As school starts back (sigh!), we’re all scrambling to buy everything on the school list, and to stock up on those things we’re going to need. (If you’re not stocking up, you need to read School Supplies for the ADHD Inattentive Family.)

Lately, however, we’ve run across some other things that you might want to consider, items that really might help your child slow down and pay attention…ADHD Supplies.

1. Cushions and Ball Chairs. We keep hearing about how helpful seat cushions and ball chairs are for kids and adults with ADHD – or not! Wiggly kids need to get wiggles out, and inattentive kids sometimes need to wiggle to help them focus. The cushions act as sort of a shock absorber for the motion. Parents have told us that they buy one for school and one for home. Some kids even use them at the dinner table.

Some of the seats have textures to help kids with sensory issues. And yes, they come in adult sizes. You might need to wiggle a bit, too.

2. Timer. We’ve written a lot about timers for ADHD, but this cube timer
has really become popular because it’s so easy and fun to use. Just flip it over to the time you want, and – ready, set – GO!

3. Unbelievably ear piercingly loud alarm clock that also shakes the bed! Although they are doing fine as adults (take that as a word of encouragement!), a couple of our boys are like their mother – they can sleep through anything. They can’t have slept through this alarm clock, though! We got it for Ash, and it’s not only insanely loud, but it has something that you put under your mattress that shakes it violently. We love this.

4. Fidgets. Pencil toppers, textured rulers, chewable jewelry, puzzles, and velcro…things that our kids can play with to help them focus. I love the ones that sort of blend in to regular school supplies. Here are some ideas for ADHD fidgets.

5. Labels and Sharpies. I’ve always been of the opinion that you could label anything with a Sharpie. You may have heard the story about how I wrote our cell phone number on our children’s leg when we traveled overseas. No language needed. If a child got lost – they just showed the number.

A black fine tip marker can write on a tiny fabric label on a sweatshirt. A thicker Sharpie can label the pages on the side of a book. (If you have to pay a fine – it’s worth it!) A silver Sharpie will keep power cords and chargers organized – and keep your Uncle Bobby from taking yours by accident.

If you want a ~~more sophisticated looking~~ neater option for your clothes, you can get iron or stick on labels. I bought some personalized iron on labels for my dad’s felt hat that he didn’t want to mark up, and they were great!

So – what supplies are on your list that might not be on mine? What have you found that you just can’t do without?! Share them below.

Memorizing Hint…In the Middle of the Night

Just heard this memorizing hint, which probably isn’t good for a younger child. But for high schoolers and college age kids – and their parents, it sounds very promising.

If you have to memorize anything that can be put onto notecards, set a stack of the cards beside your alarm clock, and set the clock to go off in the middle of the night. When the alarm sounds, go through the cards very briefly, then go back to sleep.

The person explaining this said that he learned it from a college professor, and that it really, really worked.

What do you think?

The PAC-kit – Our Planner for ADHD

We don’t talk a lot about the PAC-kit, but this is the time of year that we should! The PAC-kit is the Planner, Agenda, and Calendar that evolved from our attempts to keep Ron and Joe organized. We always found that store bought planners didn’t work for our guys.

Here’s what would happen.

It’s Tuesday night. Your son has a new $8.95 planner that you just bought because he lost the one he had before. You flip to today’s date. Nothing is written on it. He patiently shows you where he wrote his homework – on the wrong page. Because he couldn’t fit all the words onto the tiny lines, his assignments bleed over into the next day, but are still illegible.

So you call your next door neighbor, whose daughter always has her homework assignments done 15 minutes after she gets home. (Sigh.) You find out that there is a math worksheet, a chapter to read in Social Studies, ten spelling words to use in sentences, and a science activity that needs a pipette.

After a search, you find the math worksheet (what are ordinal numbers, again?) wadded down in the bottom of the bookbag with apple juice soaked into the corner. Your son brought home his science instead of Social Studies book. The list of spelling words is nowhere to be found. Nor is the pipette for the science activity.

Am I close?!

After years of struggling with all of the above, we invented the PAC-kit. Read about our planner for ADHD here!

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